Slow living, slow substacking.

A little update from my time here, my personal intentions & some recommendations of wonderful people to follow.

I nearly didn’t write a substack this week.

I nearly decided to just let this week pass, it doesn’t matter anyway.

But in a week that’s been filled with challenging moments, toddler tantrums, relationship disagreements and zero time for myself I decided to put my foot down and carve out this bit of time for me.

Writing is healing.

It’s always been my therapy.

I’ve had a strong journalling practice for many years now and have become adept at documenting my emotional processes.

I think it started when I was training to be a counsellor, but it’s only gotten stronger in the ten years since then.

(Wow, sidetrack for a second, I can’t believe it’s been ten years since I trained to be a therapist, holy shit where has the time gone)

So I’ve been on substack for about 2 months now. I’ve written weekly, sometimes more through my own enthusiasm, and I’ve learnt a lot.

I’m following some incredible accounts. I’ve paid for some (worth every penny). I’ve also had to Unsubscribe to many. I found this space getting too busy for my sensitive mind, and I began dreading coming on here due to the overwhelm of how many unread articles I had in my inbox. Do you experience that too?

I quickly learnt that’s not how I wanted to do things.

So I’ve simplified. Much like I’m simplifying my life right now.

I’m definitely in my slow living era. Much of the accounts I follow share this kind of content also. I highly recommend Hunter Burgtorf’s The Magically Mundane and Jennifer Cat’s Well Rooted Motherhood if you’re into that kind of thing.

For me it’s about being present & intentional.

I left the rat race many years ago to pursue a different kind of life. And that had me living in a campervan full time for 2 years, crafting my own business so I didn’t have to work for “the man” and now choosing full time mothering so I can be fully present for my daughter.

So what’s this all got to do with this weeks writing?  And whether I was actually going to write at all …

I started off by sharing I had been too busy to schedule a post this week. It hadn’t  happened. I have barely had a moment to breathe.

And I’ve realised - this isn’t how I want to do life.

I’m dysregulated, my healthy eating has gone out the window, I’m back on caffeine and having all kinds of flare ups.

And my writing stopped.

No.

This is not how I want to do life.

I don’t tend to have fixed intentions in my life anymore, but I do know how I want to feel.

I want to feel relaxed, regulated, ready for anything. I want to have such spaciousness in my body, brain and life that when something arises I can handle it with ease.

Today I had a ten minute shouting match with my daughter. Because she wouldn’t get in her car seat. Because I was already at capacity and wasn’t regulated enough to deal with her tantrum.

This isn’t how I want to do life.

I want to feel calm, confident, capable. I want to have such conviction within myself that I am not outsourcing my power whenever shit hits the fan. That I’m not turning to my partner in a panic and handing over the reins.

I want to feel grounded, grateful and generous with my energy. I want my cup so full it’s overflowing, pouring out into my community.

Today I also had 2 mama friends come over to help me sort my mums house. I want to feel so resourced that I can offer that energy back. So I can reciprocate not just receive.

And how does that translate to my substack?

I want to feel creative. I want to feel like I’ve got something to offer you. Granted most my posts are about me and my life, but I would hope they are filled with glimmers of inspiration or resonance. Hopefully an “aha” moment as it highlights something in you.

And the only way I can cultivate that is by nourishing myself so my creativity can grow. So that I have time to pause and create notes on my phone. Not in a frantic way (ok maybe sometimes in a frantic way cos toddler mum life is a vibe), but in a way that encourages depth and philosophical evaluation.

So as I approach 2 whole months of substack, 14 (now 15!) posts, a bunch of lovely subscribers and even a recommendation now (thank you

Hunter Burgtorf

!) I can definitely see & feel how I want to be more intentional with what I write here.

It doesn’t mean posting weekly because I want to keep up my substack stats (real talk) but because I feel moved by what I’m creating.

I would really, really love some feedback from those of who you take the time to read my posts and subscribe into this space.

Why are you here? What do you get from my writing? What moves in you from my words? What do you look forward to hearing about? What would you like more of? And because I’m feeling brave….where can I improve? Where can I deliver more quality? What needs to go to create space for something even better?

Sending you all much love,

The Wild Mother