Sometimes I wish our lives were more simple.

Some honest reflections on our way of life. A peek behind the scenes of "the homestead dream".

Sometimes I wish our lives were more simple

That we lived in a simple house

And worked simple jobs

Sometimes I wish our dreams weren’t quite so big

Or our aspirations quite so tall

Because as incredible as it is to be chasing a dream

It’s also exhausting

And whilst we’ve escaped the 9-5

We’ve moved into a 24/7

There are no breaks or holidays

I wonder what is this so called freedom?

Some days I want to trade it in

For security, stability & something I cared a little less about

But wouldn’t that mean trading in

Everything that’s meaningful to me?

Not just a house, a home, a dream

A way of life that’s family-centred,

And whilst we’re busy at least we’re together

A way of living that’s sovereign,

No involvement from the government,

Just us and our kin

Home-steading and home-edding,

Earning an honest income

It isn’t easy, it isn’t easy,

But good things rarely are

So whilst some days I want to trade it in,

In reality there’s nothing I want more.

Some honest reflections on our way of life.

I’ve never felt so stretched, in my relationship, in my mothering, in my day-to-day life.

It’s somewhat ironic, that we are creating this “simple” life of raising children, baking bread, growing our own food and not working for “the man”.

But the complexities of that simple life are more intricate than I thought.

And there are certain sacrifices that come with this freedom.

The reality of this phase of our life means Daniel is away literally building our dream, whilst I carry the load of parenting on my own.

I’ve been hit with a deep wave of grief, a sleep regression, toddler tantrums and some disruptions to my menstrual cycle all at once.

I feel like I’ve been hit by a high-speed train.

And here’s the thing: removing myself from the matrix (including big pharma, big food, the education system etc) also means removing myself from their version of support.

There have been moments recently where I’ve wanted to cave on my beliefs and put my daughter in nursery so I could get a break. Where I’ve considered going to my GP to get some pills to make me feel better (but really they’ll just numb me out).

Fundamentally this is not my truth.

Sometimes it’s so hard to untangle myself from a system that’s so deeply embedded in our own minds and bodies.

It’s hard to take radical responsibility of a situation and look at how *I* can show up for myself and my family in a better way, so that I’m taking the reigns of my mental health in my hands and riding into a better place.

It’s hard not to outsource my power every time I struggle. To look for the easy quick fix that doesn’t actually require me to change my behaviour.

But underneath it all I know what my truth is: I want to be free.

The choices we are making now may seem difficult, but they are leading us for a life of sovereignty. Where we don’t need to depend on outside sources for our health, wealth or happiness.

So right now this looks like getting outside even when I want to stay in bed, creating beautiful heart medicine and drinking lots of cacao.

It’s having some slightly uncomfortable conversations that will then serve me better in the long-run.

It’s finding childcare options that feel aligned, with people that I not only trust but also know my daughter has a deep and beautiful bond with.

It’s taking responsibility for my life. It’s acknowledging I might be in a shit storm right now but that it’s not going to last forever. It’s taking the steps to ensure I can be here for my family (in a present and loving way, not a disassociated or neurotic way).

It’s tending to my nervous system, feeding my body well, prioritising rest and asking for help when I need it.

It’s remembering to breathe.

(Disclaimer: thoughts and opinions in this substack relate to my feelings about my life only. I recognise the importance of pharmaceuticals and mental health medication in certain situations. If you are on medication please do not suddenly stop, or consider not getting the help you need. We are all deeply individual in our choice-making. We are all sovereign beings. This is my path and my choice. I respect yours, please respect mine.)

PS if you’re looking for yummy heart-opening cacao I highly recommend Ritual Cacao from the Tsatsayaku Association. As a mother I have found it to be the most grounding and gentle cacao. It is my daily heart medicine.

Get your ritual cacao here. Use the code AFFILIATE10 for 10% off.

Enjoy.

With love,

The Wild Mother